A woman was shocked to get the silent treatment from her husband after she made one request on her birthday that he called “ungrateful.”
Taking to Reddit‘s “Am I the A–hole” forum, the birthday girl explained that she’d made some big sacrifices to help celebrate her mother-in-law’s birthday, which falls on the same day as hers.
Instead of getting to stay home, she spent most of her birthday on a nine-hour drive home from her mother-in-law’s surprise party. The whole way home, she was waiting for one thing from her husband. When she asked him about it, he got defensive and flipped the blame around.
However, others on Reddit agree that she was barely asking for the minimum.
Keep reading to find out more…
In her post, the woman explained that she’d driven out of state for her mother-in-law’s “milestone birthday.” She noted that she was “totally fine having my actual birthday be a ‘travel day.’ ”
She just at least expected her husband to acknowledge that it was her birthday at all.
“We woke up around 7:30am to pack and hit the road home and by about 9am, he still hadn’t wished me a happy birthday. I jokingly mentioned ‘wow 9am and nobody has sang happy birthday to me yet, you forgot?’ to which he said ‘no I didn’t forget’ ” she recalled.
As the day went on, she said that “not once did he ever wish me a happy birthday.”
When they got home, she said that she “calmly” asked why he never wished her a happy day.
“He then claims that he did at the hotel room, which I know for a fact that he did not. He has a history of gaslighting me. When I told him that he didn’t, he became defensive,” she wrote.
The woman said her husband could have made a gesture as small as a “little detour to Starbucks” for a drink. Anything to make her day “a little special.”
“He then proceeded to say “Starbucks? You got a $2k necklace. You sound really ungrateful right now,’ ” she recalled.
Her necklace was a joint Valentine’s Day and birthday present, which she received earlier in the year. At the time, she said her husband “made sure to tell me that the necklace was both Valentine’s Day and birthday.”
“I was totally cool with this,” she said.
She made it clear that she didn’t expect anything elaborate and would have been content with “the smallest, slightest thing.” Instead, her husband let her birthday feel “just like any other day.”
While he wasn’t there for her on her day, she said that her husband is someone who “treats his entire birth month as his birthday” and “wants king treatment” on the actual day.
“Like, he won’t even get his own fork from the kitchen because it’s his birthday. I brought this up last night and he just went silent,” she said, adding that the silent treatment continued.
Seeking comfort and affirmation that she wasn’t in the wrong, the Redditor found it in the replies.
“Your husband is horrendous,” one person wrote. “Who gives a s— about some dumb necklace when he can’t even show you basic courtesy. You need a massive rethink about your marriage because this type of behavior doesn’t bode well at all.”
Another agreed, writing that she should “match his energy on his next birthday.”
“Buy him a nice early gift and then treat it like any other day. When he asks you to get his fork, say ‘I already gave you an expensive gift, you sound ungrateful,’ ” they added.
A final commenter summed it up simply, writing, “He’s a baby. You two need to have a grown up conversation.”
