Bella Hadid is sharing a very candid message with her fans.
On Thursday (June 25), the 29-year-old model took to her Instagram Story to open up about the mental toll of living with a chronic illness as she detailed a flare-up related to her Lyme disease diagnosis, which she has been battling for over 15 years.
“Haven’t been able to shake off this flare up… Slept 11 hours. Again…. Nap everyday. Took every protocol from any and every doctor I’ve seen. Still nothing helping. IFYKY,” Bella wrote over a selfie of herself crying. “Now I’ve diagnosed myself with 12 other things so that’s good.”
“And today is not the day to tell me to journal. And yes I drank water. And no I didn’t go on a walk because I was out of breath walking to the kitchen,” she continued. “I don’t think there’s a singular brain cell in there working and my last two are beefing with each other so I’m sorry if I ever told you on a bad day to journal I take it back and I’m sorry.”
“I took a shower without fainting tho,” Bella added, “so again, if you know you know….that felt like a really big accomplishment for me today so maybe someone can send me a cookie or something.”
She then went on to share a much longer message explaining how “intimidating” it is to explain her symptoms of pain, exhaustion, fatigue, anxiety, brain fog, infections, and trauma, and how they lead “to severe isolation and depression, especially over long periods of time.”
i wish it wasn’t so intimidating and difficult to explain the pain/ exhaustion/fatigue/ anxiety/ brain fog/insecurities that comes with chronic illness/ co infections/mental health/trauma/etc. Leading to severe isolation and depression, especially over long periods of time…especially when you try anything you can. you learn about your symptoms, read books, read others stories, try to self diagnose when you demand answers that no one can find. You fight. You finally have a few good days. You think you’ve found the right protocol, the right routine, the right treatment… and then a flare up comes back and all of a sudden nothing feels certain again. Back to cancelling plans, back to the inability to make decisions because you never know what you are going to feel like from day to day. You wake up with anxiety already living in your body. Physical pain before your feet even touch the floor….And somehow, still have to find the strength to move through another day in a body and mind that are completely exhausted. Masking feelings that you can’t even explain. Sometimes it feels like unless you’ve lived something like this, or loved someone who has, it’s impossible to fully understand.
So if you’re reading this and quietly fighting a battle no one else can see, I want you to know that I see you… There is light, even if you can’t see it today… There is hope, I feel it sometimes even when I’m at my lowest… as so many have said..i have to remind myself that healing isn’t linear…I believe God puts before us, somehow, only what we are capable of carrying, even when we don’t understand why at the time. I know there is a deeper purpose to all things in life, and through experiences, good or bad, there is a silver lining. sometimes it’s hard to find…but I do truly believe that every hardship leaves us with a lesson, a deeper compassion, or a strength we never knew we had. It leads us to the places and people and experience we have now.. I have so much gratitude for life but without living in a body that has more rough days than good…. it’s hard to find joy or purpose or reason to even go outside…but we will keep trying! always! anyways. I just wanted to come on here to say, anyone struggling the way I have, or in ways entirely your own: you are loved. You are needed. Your life has purpose. And you will make it through every season life puts you through….love you and hold you deeply.
She also re-shared a Story from a friend she recently sent her Orabella fragrances and merch to.
“Even when I’m down…Seeing my best friends get little gifts from me from afar, at least to be there in spirit with them when I don’t feel well and then on top of it, seeing how much hard work my beautiful team puts in for me and my dreams…” she wrote. “It makes me emotional…thank you to my tribe for keeping me afloat.”
Bella concluded sharing about her flare-ups by sharing a photo of a deer hopping around in the woods and wrote, “Hi I’m sorry if I worried anyone. I know it sounds jarring, but in full truth it’s my reality so it’s something I’m able to cope with to a capacity now. I’m sorry if I startled anyone. this truly is an every day, ebb and Flo, for me for the past 15 years. I just had an overwhelming amount of emotion over not being able to do the things my mind is capable of setting, but my body is not capable of doing.”
Every day is a new day and tomorrow I’m hoping for, God willing, a better one,” she continued. “I love you guys so much thank you for all of your support. I wasn’t expecting it, but I’m truly grateful. I love you guys so much.”
Back in 2023, Bella shared an update on her health after several months out of the spotlight to undergo intense treatment.
Posted To:Bella Hadid
